in life, you can learn a few things

first, is not to backstab and betray people that you shouldnt,
second, is to learn that the first thing you should do is to save yourself,
third, is to know well your own limits,
and lastly, learn that not everyone in this world can be trusted, no matter how sweet they look.

it's quite a sad thing that i only learnt all this now.

out of a sudden i decided to go to friendster after so many months of not visiting it.
and then i found this testimonial given to me by a person who means so much to me.
and im gonna publish it here because its the most beautiful thing she has ever said to me.

MANPIN Posted 12/8/2006
i'm not trying to be disgusting or gross and this will be the first and last time to let you see this side of me. hahaha.

i love you, girl.
and yes, for everything that you have done and the times when you speak to me over the phone whenever i'm high, down or whatsoever shit.
this is going to sound wrong but you are always there when i needed you, as in, you know, when i needed someone to talk to, to cry to, to rant to.
funny as it seems, we are not the bestest of friends because we have our own hmmm, best friends. haha.
however, putting those aside, i will definitely say that you're like my 2nd best friend lah. hahaha, honoured ? for sure, you are.

all right, mushy stuff aside.
i know you love recieving my messages and you'll always anticipate for more yeah ? AHAHA, this part is fucked up but who cares a shit !

with much love,
your one & only bullshit partner.

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at that point of time i couldnt do anything except try to not cry,
and i just kept re-reading the testimonial over and over again.

when i saw the "i'm not trying to be disgusting or gross and this will be the first and last time to let you see this side of me. hahaha."
i was thinking to myself,
"aiya this girl, which side of her have i never seen before?"

and then i read on and i saw "i love you, girl." and the rest of the mushy things that follows,
i just choked,
on both saliva and tears

and then i thought to myself again,
"THIS is the one and only side of manpin that she has never shown to me before."

and somehow at that point of time,
everything we've been through since sec three started flashing through my mind.

the times when i added her on msn messenger and so we started talking on,
and then at the end of sec two we realise we got into the same class and so we're like "okay at least we have each other" and so we sat together, starting talking, and the next thing you know we started going recess together.

and as days go on and on,
we got closer,
and we eventually confided in each other about the problems we face.

somehow we both just could relate to one another,
and we'd listen, we'll cry, we'll laugh and we'll curse.

the times where we'll just sit down and talk,
or the times where we'll talk about our problems until we cry,
or the times where we'll just plain laugh our days away.
and not forgetting the times we sit down together and just get angry and curse at the irritants that we dislike.

and of cos ill never forget the times i tried to give her a hug and she's like "eww don't be so lesbiany"
and the times when i tell her "i love you friend"
and she's like "wah you're damn mushy / lesbiany / smth along the same lines"

and all these little little things that slowly bond us closer together just flash past my mind as i read through that testimonial over and over again.

and i only have just one thing to say,
something that once i say i'll never ever take it back again.

my dearest bullshit partner manpin,
thank you for all the times you put up with all my shit,
the times you listen through my problems although it seems as though its never-ending,
the times you stood up for me and stand by my side when shit friends do shit things to me,
the times you gave me advices when i needed them,
the times you scolded me because i refuse to eat,
the times we talk on the phone like there's everything in the world to talk about,
the times we cried together,
the times we scream and curse together,
the times we laughed as though we couldnt laugh anymore,
and the many many times we spent together.

and i give you my word that i'll be there for you until the end of time.

i love you,
always did and still do.

i swear i don't know why i'm in here because i have nothing to say.

well life has been pretty mundane and boring,
barely coping with my studies but hey,
since when was i ever able to manage my studies properly.

only recent highlight was the purchase of my prom night gown,
and haha i feel so good.
i finally found something that ive been looking for a very long time,
something contemporary and against the typical "daniel yam" gown sort of fashion.
haha its not too early okay,
most of the people around have already bought it.

its the right time because according to rachel,
might as well buy early and you don't have to care about gown searching anymore,
(meaning i can spend my remaining time studying for the damned os)
and according to manpin,
we have exactly 12 days after olevels to our prom night,
and 12 days is too short to find a gown yeah?
considering the fact that the 12 days needs to be spent on:

1) finding the right make up store to do your makeup
2) finding the right hair-do to match your gown
3) sleeping your days away because you've probably exhausts all the brands chicken essence/ ginseng teas / espressos and most importantly your sleeping time while studying for olevels
4) going out with your girlfriend and friends and CHIONGGGGG AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
5) catch up on all the damned tv you missed, just imagine, "oh my god he's gotten married with that bitch for the entire time i was too busy to watch!!" and followed by long sappy weeping korean serials everynight
6) spending your time trying to get a part time job because while playing you exhausted all your financial funds or you're saving up for a big project. (eg, overseas trip and etc)
7) busy writing notes to your friends whom you know you'll cry your eyes out during prom night for cos you miss them so badly
8) charging your camera because you know you'll still want memories with them
9) basically going out everyday of your life doing things you love because olevels over = freedom
10) and lastly, catching up on your sleep again because you exhausted yourself while you over stretched your new found freedom

and with so many things in hand to do,
how are you supposed to still quiet your heart down and find THAT perfect gown?

haha so much shit has happened in my life and my blog is just stagnant.

just a brief summary of what happened recently!

i went to a specialist to check my intestines cos they've been hurting rather badly,
and so after numerous blood tests, urine tests, stool tests, CT Scan (X-ray), and lastly a horrible colonoscopy (often said as "scope"),
and so the results are out and,
NO don't be ridiculous i do NOT have stomach cancer (hope you get what i mean)
its just that my intestines kinda twisted so they went into spasm and thats why it hurts and my intestines are inflammed (some bacteria infection) and so i am fine and still alive and kicking!

thanks everyone who messaged me and all to ask if im fine. (:

and yeah loads of things happened between me and my girlfriend,
but im glad we tide through that and we're much closer now than we ever used to be. (:

and i can only thank my love for the chance that she's given me,
and im sorry for all that i put you through.

i love you with all my heart and soul baby,
thanks for everything, really. (:

had the cute little one staying over at my place almost everyday since then,
and i must say ive been basking in bliss.
and somehow i just can't get enough of her. (:

the only thing is i haven't really accomplished much work haha,
sometimes i seriously wonder how i ever tide through the numerous tests and mock papers that we have every single school day.

baby's exams going on now and seeing her working so hard just makes me want to work harder too. (:

on a lighter note,
here's a song for my love

No, I can't forget this evening
Or your face as you were leaving
But I guess that's just the way the story goes
You always smile but in your eyes your sorrow shows
Yes, it shows

No I can't forget tomorrow
When I think of all my sorrow
When I had you there but then I let you go
And now its only fair that I should let you know
What you should know

I can't live if living is without you
I can't give, I can't give anymore
Can't live if living is without you
Can't give, I can't give anymore

Without You - Air Supply